Outside the window I could see a vast distance. The seemingly impossible number I perceived was 1, followed by a million zeros. What appeared to be an organic, randomly formed collection was in fact a symmetrical pattern that I was only seeing a small piece of. Moments after I became aware of the scale of the system, I felt a sharp pain in my eyes. It began in both eyes at once and traveled behind them to a spot the felt like the middle of my skull. The pain was unbearable and beyond any I had ever imagined possible. The pain lasted for a split second, then quickly became a warm, numbing sensation that expanded down and through my body until all feeling was gone, even from the tips of my fingers and toes. I could still move, or at least I think I could because when I tried to kick my legs around, I couldn't feel them, but I could hear muffled shuffling sounds that matched the tempo of my attempted movement. This lasted for a period of time that I cannot measure, as I was alone and blinded. Then I ceased to hear anything. Even as I was still trying to kick my legs, like I had done before, not even the muffled sound of movement could be heard.
I cannot tell if the words I speak are being heard by anyone. I keep talking, though I can no longer see, hear, or feel anything. I do not know how my body is surviving, as I have not consumed food or have knowledge of any other bodily functions. As I think of what has changed, I cannot imagine anything other than absolute terror. Though, in this now totally silent existence, I feel at peace. My memory is intact. I remember things I thought I had once forgotten. The sorrows and joys are there in my memory, but I do not feel emotions now. I repeat these words, not knowing if anyone will hear. Not knowing if any sound is coming from my mouth. Not having any proof I still have a mouth. If anyone can hear me, I have no desires or sense of purpose. If you hear me, I have no way of knowing. If the words i'm trying to speak are not coming from my lips, there is no other signal I can give. I do not know where I am, and have nowhere to be or any means of navigation. I keep talking because it is the only thing I have to do, other than remember experiences from my past, and wonder at the last thing I saw.
When I had my hands on the rail, I slid the panel open to reveal what was outside. The view is normally blocked to not bother those who are asleep. At this moment, no one else was around and I was feeling restless. I would have liked to walk and stretch my legs. I would have liked to make love. I would have liked to be finished with my journey and back home with the information I had already collected. Outside the window I could see a vast distance. At first I was not sure what I was looking at. It looked strangely familiar, but not something I could give a name to.
credits
from Transport Device,
released January 4, 2011
Words and music by Matt Frantz, spoken by Gregg Margarite. The website greggsaudiocatalog.blogspot.com has hundreds of short stories read and recorded by Gregg for free download.
Matt Frantz is a visual artist and designer that also produces instrumental soundscapes, spoken word, and concept albums.
Most recordings fall into the category of experimental music with elements of dark ambient, electronic, industrial, and noise genres....more
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